While reading Fine and McClelland’s article, I was particularly struck by the section regarding sex education. It disturbs me that in such a modernized country, we are still teaching our children about sexuality so archaically, preaching abstinence, shame, and negative effects, rather than teaching about safety, acceptance, and allowing each individual to make the decision right for them. While I agree that students shouldn’t be running around having sex before they’re ready, I believe that we must give them the tools to carefully make their own choices while comprehending the effects such choices could have on their lives. As an English teacher, I can assume that I probably won’t be too involved in the curriculum of the health department, but we’re kidding ourselves if we think an “abstinence before marriage” (p. 306) way of approaching the subject is really going to help a group of confused, curious, and hormonal adolescents.
It seems that this approach to teaching sex education is even more detrimental to the adolescent gay or lesbian student. Not only do these students feel they’ll be ostracized for their sexual orientation, but here they are also being taught that they shouldn’t have or act on sexual feelings at all until marriage. If a student is already struggling or coming to terms with his or her own sexuality, the current sex education classrooms probably aren’t doing much to help them feel valued or even comfortable. According to Anderson, “teenagers…usually report that between the ages of twelve and fourteen they first realize that they are much more sexually attracted to persons of their own sex” (p. 339). This means that not only are these teenagers getting an outdated and old-fashioned sex education, but they are also simultaneously “[realizing] that they suddenly belong to a group of people that is often vehemently despised” (p. 339).
These articles just reinforce the idea that my classroom has to be a safe place for all students. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been subbing and overheard male students refer to each other as “fag” or “queer” in a derogatory way, as if it were nothing. I can’t imagine being a gay youth in a classroom where these disparaging remarks are yelled back and forth as if a “fag” or a “queer” is really a second class citizen. It’s hard enough to be an adolescent, so I want my students to know that being different is ok. I want them to know that just because something doesn’t fit the mold doesn’t mean it is bad. I want them to know that each person, regardless of color, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or whatever, is still a person and deserves to be valued and treated with respect.
Kate,
ReplyDeleteI could not agree with you more about your reaction to this article. I think it is an embarrassment that we are still teaching kids that abstinence is their only option when it comes to sex. What do these people think? I understand that we should not be up there preaching young teenagers to go out and have sex but guess what, if they want to do it they’re going to do it. I remember being in high school and having girl friends who were sexually active yet their mothers would not take them to get birth control. They would say no, I don’t want you having sex so you can’t get the pill. This of course did not stop them and only made them having sex more dangerous. Like you said, we need to talk to students about safety and teach them the dangers of having sex too young or having sex before you’re in a committed relationship. I think it is very important how you pointed out the feelings of gay and lesbian students in regard to sexual education. This is usually an awkward topic for everyone in school but must be even more overwhelming for a gay or lesbian student especially if he/she is afraid to let others know his/her sexual orientation. I think that as teachers we need to do better and our students deserve better from us.
Hi Kate and Kim,
ReplyDeleteI like how "struck" you were at our "new" yet antiquated sexuality education programs. It is pathetically ironic, isn't it?
I was struck by some of the statistics in the Fine-McClelland article. The ages. The actions and responses. The outcomes.
I wonder . . . with a war on drugs, a war on terror, etc., is there a war on youth?
Per the Anderson article, I empathize with your experience. Some of the disrespect among the boys seems, at times, rampant. Given the articles, we know that some may be shouting out to deflect being "marked" themselves. Nevertheless, we have to try to instill a sense of behaviour that moves beyond the "mook."
Reading all of these materials does make me wonder if America is in peril—from within. Are we rotting?
To pull from literature, are we becoming a society like decadent 18th century France?
As teachers, we will be important, indeed. Yikes!
Kate and Kim,
ReplyDeleteIt was a pleasure to read your comments. I can see how modern American women view sexuality. I grew up in a culture where the society didn't talk about sex (openly) and homosexuals were unknown (I am sure they existed a million years ago) and a child out of wedlock was totally unheard of. So here I am voicing my opinion in a 21st century, progressive and modern set-up of UML, graduate level course. I still feel that teens can be trained to remain abstinent. But if they end up having sex they shouldn’t made to feel guilty or ashamed about it. In case of girls, the stakes are high. I think what is more crucial here is a loving atmosphere at home. If mothers share healthy and loving relationship with their daughters perhaps there’ll be fewer chances of teen age pregnancies and the entire trauma that comes along. Similarly, I male role model at home can be helpful in determining the sexual behavior of a teenage boy. I feel sex is not the only way humans can express their love and care for others. What I see the teens do is simply trying things out of curiosity. Human bodies are really not biologically mature until the age of 18. I mean physically the teens may be ready but not emotionally. So why would we play with our bodies so early? But again this brings us all back to figuring out what is the right age to talk about sex education? There are differing views as far as the right age is concerned. I also feel a separate section on gay/lesbian sexuality can be included as part of sex education. This will bring down the embarrassment and fear in the teens that are deciding their sexuality.
I often think that one of the greatest losses that this country ever had, was the loss of community. In SO many ways, it has created a really poor environment for youth. While on average single parent households might (emphasize might) be slightly worse than two parent households, it is not by much. Where is this going? I too am “disturbed” about sex education in the US. As you point out, there are wide age differences in maturity. By robbing our youth of safe communities (either through extended family or community), much of their ability to learn from or ask questions of others is missing. I personally believe that is why other countries (and anecdotally, children with supportive and extended families) appear to be much more successful. I could not agree with you more on the idea of creating a safe environment in the classroom. I too agree we need to give them the tools they need. Given the wide range of maturity/age combinations, maybe we could have it as an elective course (elective during any particular year, and offered from middle school through high school, but mandatory prior to graduation). Additionally, there could be several different topics (sex-ed, diversity, etc) broached or taught in different seminars. In the safe environment of a classroom, you may be able to better judge when you could recommend students for specific courses or seminars! Let’s create a wide range of forums for communication, it need not be more expensive then current programs, simply a redirection towards a more flexible communication forum.
ReplyDeleteIT is funny Kate, I talked about the same thing in my blog. It pisses me off to be honest that educators do that. Sure, 2000 years ago when girls were married at 13 to men who are 30 waiting till marriage made sense. Now a days we have much more connection with people of the opposite sex at a younger age. Our minds and bodies go crazy and we are lead to believe to feel bad for it. ITs all wrong.
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